If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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