In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
