She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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