Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
