Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
