the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
