So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
