Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
