If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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