I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
