Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
