You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
