I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
