haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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