My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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