I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I CAN MOONWALK!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We got so high we made milksteak
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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