Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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