also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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