I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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