He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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