dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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