Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
