I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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