girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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