Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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