Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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