Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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