Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
