broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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