I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
now i know why i became what i already was.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
