physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
