It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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