im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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