last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
