And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
