"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
