i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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