My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
