We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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