She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
