it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
