I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
