I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
