Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
