Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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