having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
