Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
MIDGETS
????
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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