whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
