Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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