is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
