Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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