drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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